I went through a bad boy phase in high school. Iâ€™m not talking about boys who skipped math class either. Iâ€™m talking about gang bangers, street pharmacists and a couple dudes who were a tad too old to be dealing with me. My attraction to them was probably mostly due to the whole opposites thing. I was an ardent good girl. I had good grades, rarely broke curfew and I was pure as the driven snow. The bad boy phase didnâ€™t last too long and there were regular boys sprinkled in there too, so I got my head straight relatively quickly with no long term consequences on my end.
Besides the notion that opposites attract, the thing that those guys had was one of the few things you can not teach: swagger. Not Soulja Boy swagger, but Teddy Pendergrass swagger when he said â€œTurn â€˜em off!â€ in that one old school jam or Stinger Bell swagger in pretty much every one of his scenes in The Wire. Mmmhmm. There is something very appealing about a man whose actions seem to reflect his intentions/desires. In my opinion, confidence is right up there with smile as far as the sexiest thing about a man.
On the opposite end of things, Iâ€™ve dated and been strictly friends with a few stereotypical â€œnice guys.â€ You know, the guys who look great on paper, but for whatever reason, canâ€™t get into a long-term relationship. They are educated, have nice homes, professional, not ugly, no kids, come from a great family, respectful, blah, blah, blah. No dice. What gives?
Some people like to turn to the adage that nice guys finish last or they like to say that women (especially black women) want the thug/bad boy type even into adulthood. Whatever man. I think there are nice guys on the market for the same reason that there are nice girls on the market. It just ainâ€™t happened for them yet! Why is it that when a â€œniceâ€ guy is single, itâ€™s the womanâ€™s fault and when a â€œniceâ€ girl is single, itâ€™s still the womanâ€™s fault?
Do nice guys actually finish last? Is â€œnice guyâ€ another way of saying â€œweak?â€ Have you ever dated a nice guy with swagger? Oh and for the record, my bad boys were all very nice and attentive to me. They just had very interesting (albeit illegal) occupations and interests, so I donâ€™t think being nice and having swagger are mutually exclusive though we tend to treat those traits as such.