Adventures in Grooming: The Brazilian Bikini Wax
This is my eldest daughter’s very favorite story in the misadventures that make up my life. And I will say that this story is 100% true. I can’t make this stuff up!
A few years ago, hubby and I went to the Dominican Republic with a group of friends. It was my first time traveling outside the country in over 20 years. I’d been working for The Evil Empire and was so burned out that I was just happy to be going somewhere. I wanted everything to be perfect.
Quiet as it’s kept, the only hair I want on my body is the hair on top of my head. Everything else must go. It’s just better that way. Well, in honor of my big trip and because we would be staying at a nudist resort, I decide to treat myself to a bikini wax. As I tried to work up the nerve, I ventured to Duane Reade (it’s like CVS or Walgreens for those of you outside the NYC area) and discovered the “do-it-yourself-home-bikini-wax” kit. Being the thrifty individual that I can be at times, I figure “what the heck!” and took it home.
Fast forward to 5:00 am in my bathroom at home. I decide to give the home kit a whirl. I’d heated the wax in the microwave and was ready to roll. In my mind this was a no-brainer. I’d gotten my eyebrows waxed plenty of times. This was gonna be a piece of cake. NOT!!!!
The first thing I did wrong was that I applied it too thick. The second thing I did wrong was that I didn’t start on the edge. This stuff didn’t have the little linen cloths. You were supposed to just lift the edge of the wax and let it rip! Well, genius that I am, I didn’t think about that and I put a nice, big dollop right in the middle of my mound.
When I tried to remove it, I couldn’t get an edge because of all the hair. So basically, I was pulling the hairs out one at a time. So there I was, in my bathroom at 5:15 am, crying with a big wax seal on my “stuff”. After about 6 hairs, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I sure did go to work wearing the wax seal.
It took me several days, but I managed to get it off, a few hairs every once in a while. And wound up with big bald spot. It was not good times…
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LMAO…*wiping tears* LMAO again!!
I was at a Body Shop store this past weekend and the girls there were talking about waxing themselves. The Body Shop sells the waxing kits and they were raving about the results.
As much as I LOVE the results of waxing, there is no way I could inflict that on myself!!
After that little incident, I went to a salon and had it done. I hear that if you get it done regularly, you be come desensitized. I also hear that you should take tylenol about 30 minutes before you have it done. Pity I didn’t learn that little tidbit until after….
Lol i’m sure that was painful. I think certain things should not be done by yourself but left to the professionals. I tried the at home wax kits but for my thighs and legs and that was also a painful and learning experience as well. I will try bikini wax but will go to a salon for that. And after, if it’s something i can handle, i will learn first before doing it on my own. Better luck next time.
Hilarious! Never had a Brazilian, but I am thinking about it.
I have learned that I can’t rip my own hair out of my body (outside of tweezing the brows between waxing). You were a brave, brave soul. LOL
LMAO!
girls girls girls. i am a 100% waxer. Shaving is absolutely revolting and i understand it may be scary at first but waxing is so much cleaner and hygienic! I have never been to a salon to get it done, i have always done it myself and never shaved in my life. Give it a go you will never go back i promise :) xx